Still Life with Pear
Unlike a sudden death, a prognosis gives us the chance to respond while a person is still present - to brace for absence and to pay attention. Four years ago, my dad was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. As the daughter of a photographer, my eyes are trained to scan a space for light, but now they watch for absence too.
An index is a sign made by the thing that it references: a fingerprint or the worn steps of a cathedral. Often these signs point to subjects that are absent. Paying attention to these absences can draw out a presence. Poet and memoirist, Mark Doty, describes the still life painting as an index of the artist’s visual attention to light. Though the artist and painted objects may no longer exist, their life is suspended in an intimate record of attention.